Wednesday, August 24, 2011

It May Be Harder For Me

I miss Sam sitting in my lap.

He has held and smelled my hair while nursing or taking his pacifier ever since he could grab hold of it.  Since he gave up his pacifier, he won't sit in my lap.  I understand.  He associates sitting there with the pacifier, so it is easier for him to just not snuggle at all.  Yesterday, I asked him for a hug, and I got a once second one.  Last night when I was lying down with him at bedtime, he flipped and flopped for 20-30 minutes, then he ever so slowly inched closed to me.  I think he was trying to get close enough to smell my hair.....he finally fell asleep.

If I had known last week when he got in my lap with his pacifier, his face buried in my hair, that it was the last time, I would have held him a little longer.

I hope learns soon that he can still be close to me without being reminded of his pacifier.  How long do you think it will take?


  1. We finally weaned Caedmon from nursing, but he snuggles in my lap every morning and every night. Hope Sam soon will snuggle with you again!!

  2. I KNOW how hard this must be for your mother heart. Change is so very hard for all concerned. I will be praying for you that God will give you peace during this transition and that Sam will find a happy medium so that you both can still enjoy that special closeness.

    Take care!

  3. Oh, I can't stand it! We love hearing Lucie's pacifier sounds at night when we go to sleep. (Yes, she sleeps with us most of the time.) She's only 2 and since Sam's 5, that must mean we have 3 more years!

    You're such a great mom! I know Sam will be snuggling up again in no time!


  4. What a difficult time for both of you!! I am sure he will be able to snuggle without being reminded of the pacifier at some point. Praying it will be soon.

  5. so sweet, life's passages. feeling some of the same things. Thanks for sharing. They get so big they don't even fit in our laps. But I want them (him) there so much. (enjoy him there so much....) Want him to grow, up,. just not so quickly.! :) Blessings Roan, in all things...

  6. My oldest was five and my middle daughter was four when they gave up their paci's. It was HARD. They too would not snuggle as much as if the two were somehow related. It took a while (they are nine and seven now and my youngest four - she never took a paci, so it is hard for me to remember exactly how long it took) but it did slowly happen again. It is so hard. I remember thinking the same thing - if I had known that that day was your last day to do that I would have held on a little longer. SO bittersweet. You are an amazing Momma. Sunshine

  7. When my oldest son was a teenager, he was an only child since I had not yet adopted any of my other children. As he approached the end of high school I became very sentimental and it was so hard to think that my time as a Mother with daily mothering jobs was almost over.

    The hardest part was that I had faithfully recorded all of his firsts, first tooth, first smile, first word, etc. But I could not remember his lasts, last time I read him a bedtime story, last time he snuggled on my lap, etc. It was heartbreaking knowing that had passed and I hadn't even known.

    I am so lucky to have the chance to have the snuggles and the bedtime stories all over again with my adopted children. I'm so glad you have a record of this, Roan. It will be a great comfort to you, even though I think Sam still has a lot of snuggling left with you!