"I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High."
Psalm 9: 1-2
Today I choose joy.
My precious Julie will be married tomorrow.
Today I have one thousand things on my to-do list, the bulk of which will take place beginning at 8:00 this morning at the wedding venue. I am meeting my BFFs, my wedding planners extraordinaire, Lynn and Leanna, there for us to work our magic! I have packed my SUV like a game of Tetris, and I have many more items to load into the back of Jimmy's truck, including an arbor he built (absolutely beautiful), four ferns, and a keyboard and bench.
I slept poorly last night, thinking of all I had to do today. I am also a little nervous to let my child go. And the tears fall.
So I get out my Bible to try to begin my day in the right frame of mind. I turn to the Psalms where I read from each morning to get my mind on God, praising Him, petitioning Him, reminding myself that He is in control. Psalm 9 begins with the psalmist praising God with his whole heart. That's how I can choose joy today in spite of my personal feelings of being overwhelmed by the tasks before me. In spite of the fact that I am entering into a new and unfamiliar stage of life. My whole heart must be focused on praising God and His goodness. I will be glad and rejoice in Him.
I could not be happier for sweet Julie and the life she will begin with her beloved Sam tomorrow. They are both mature; Christ and serving Him is the center of their lives. They are both smiling continually, and their joy is contagious!
People ask me how am I coping with "losing two daughters at once". First of all, I am not losing them! I am gaining two more children when they marry. Sure, I could be selfish and focus on myself, my feelings, my "loss", but would that be right? Instead, I choose joy. What more can a mother ask than for her children to marry godly spouses? Men who will love her daughters and take care of them. Men who love the Lord and will strive to keep Christ at the center of their lives.
But mostly I comfort myself with this thought......I am so happy in my life. I love my husband. I love my children. Jimmy and I have had such a full life so far. Of course we have had bumps along the way, but overall, I am living my dream of being a full-time wife, homemaker and mother. I get to homeschool my children. I get to spend my days serving my family....And that is what I want for my children.
If I don't let them grow up and leave our nest, then they will never experience the joy of marriage and parenting that Jimmy and I have delighted in. They must leave to have their own families and lives and to one day face their own children growing up and leaving home.
So today, I chose joy. Joy in the future that awaits Julie and Big Sam. Joy in the fact that the Lord will comfort me as I experience many emotions over the next couple of days. Joy in the fact that God loves Julie infinitely more than I do, and she is in His care and protection.